How important is forgiveness?

In the early 90's my marriage of almost 20 years ended. My children were grown and most of them were understanding about why and how I was leaving their Dad. With the exception of one of them, my third son, Robert. He came to Arizona, where I was living, to drive back to Seattle with me. He was quite angry at his father, who he felt was mostly at fault. Watching me preparing to leave my home, my marriage, most of my things, and my crying uncontrollably as I was leaving, only added to his angry feelings towards his Dad. This included a letter he left, chastising his father and at a later date there was a physical altercation.

Some years later I had returned to Arizona and after a time, my son's life took a down turn so I invited him to come and stay with me until he got reorganized. In spite of the time that had passed, he was still carrying this anger towards his father although now it was no longer right at the surface, ready to spring out, but deep in his heart and spirit. Not just the anger from the dissolution of our family but other hurts from a childhood spent with a father that was often an unfair disciplinarian.

I was managing a large property and had a very reliable Maintenance man who, one morning, just up and quit with no warning. He not only quit me, but he left his marriage of short term and just disappeared. My former husband was very quick to come and offer his assistance for the time being since he was not working and the job was a lot to handle without Maintenance help. I agreed to a specific arrangement and he came to work for me. This put my son and his Dad in close proximity 5 days a week.

His Dad was in a recovery program and doing quite well and my son had been in one the year before so it gave them some things to talk about. There was a lot of work to be done and since my son was only working part time he helped his Dad do some projects and again, proximity and a chance for conversation..

During this time that he was living with me I could see how he was struggling with life. He had broken his back seven years before and afterwards had suffered from increasing bouts of depression that we couldn't seem to get help for. He had attempted suicide on several occasions, the last one involved a gun in my office. Fortunately, he never archived his goal to end his pain in that way.

I specifically remember praying, "Lord, if Robert is not going to be happy in this life, then you do what is best for him and I will abide by your decision". Robert was found dead, in his bed two weeks later. The only thing that was in any way abnormal in his system, as determined by autopsy, was an elevated amount of Benedryl he was taking as a sleep aide, suggested by a psychiatrist he had seen during the two weeks before he died.

Robert told my dear Friend of many years, who had flown in for an impromptu visit four days before he died, that he had made peace with his Dad and had forgiven him and that things were "cool" between them.

How does this story about my son relate to forgiveness?

Robert had been a Christian and had claimed the name of Christ from the time he was a young boy, giving his life to Christ at summer church camp. He had struggled in his teens, but as he got older and more grounded had been very involved with a group that did street ministry in downtown Seattle. He would share the Gospel with anyone, at any time. He was very much in love with the Lord and always disappointed in himself when he felt he let God down. He said the story of the prodigal son best described his relationship with God.

Our Heavenly Father knew that Robert's time here was soon to be over. He brought Robert to Tucson, the last week of that November, so I could see, first hand, his pain and be willing to let go of him and let God do what was best. We got to spend our final Christmas together, just the two of us. I watched him struggle to regain his balance in life and I was able to see how deeply sad and wounded my son was. But much more important than all of those things, God brought Robert to Tucson, so he could forgive his Dad, because in a very short time the Father would call him home and he needed to be free of that deep bitterness on his heart.

The scriptures say in Matthew 6:14-15 "Yes, if you forgive others for their sins, your Father in heaven will also forgive you your sins. (15) But if you don't forgive others, your Father in heaven will not forgive your sins".

How important is it to God that we forgive others? I would say it is of the most high importance.

Oh yes, the Maintenance man that walked out on his job, he returned the day after we had Robert's memorial service. He said he didn't know what came over him or why he left.

FRIENDS:

Father, I am humbled by the provisions you made for my forgiveness. You allowed your son to go to Calvary so that my sins could be forgiven and I might have eternal life. Thank you God, for your priceless gift, and for your love. Thank you Jesus that you love us with a power and depth that is beyond our understanding. Thank you for your sacrifice for us. In Jesus' name, Amen.

DAILY BIBLE CHALLENGE
February 15
Matthew 16:13-28; Acts 23:1-11; Psalms 37:23-40; Exodus 38-40
February 16
Matthew 17:1-13; Acts 23:12-35; Psalms 38; Leviticus 1-4

FOOD:

Apple Dumplings

2 Granny Smith Apples
2 pkgs croissant rolls
1 c sugar
2 sticks butter
One 12-oz bottle/can Mountain Dew
Cinnamon

Melt butter and add sugar in bowl. Peel apples and slice each apple into 8
sections. Wrap each apple wedge in a croissant triangle starting at big end.
Place in an 11x13" pan. Pour sugar and butter over wraps. Sprinkle with
cinnamon. Pour 12-oz of Mountain Dew around the dumplings but not over the
top of them.

Bake at 350-degrees until golden brown. Serve warm or cold.

FUN:

FORGIVENESS

This is the last installment on the Basic Psychological Parts of Forgiveness. Next post will wrap up this topic, for now, with a personal story of the necessity of forgiveness.
************

The story about Mrs. Smith and the children is, in many ways, overly simplified so as to illustrate the basic meaning of confession, penance, and reconciliation as they relate to forgiveness.

Still, the story is not that much different from what would happen if, for example, someone backs into your parked car and then drives away without leaving his or her name and insurance information in a note. When you discover the damage, you're left feeling violated and helpless. But no amount of swearing will fix anything. Even if your insurance covers the entire cost, you still have to spend your time and energy repairing the damage. And if you go about the work with bitterness in your heart, the task becomes even more painful and irritating. Holding a grudge against human inconsiderateness hurts only you and makes repairing the damage even more difficult.

Consider also the case of a natural disaster. No one is personally responsible, yet your home is damaged or destroyed. Your possessions are swept away—or maybe they are looted. You feel vulnerable, helpless, and frightened. In such difficult times, many persons will point angry fingers of blame at the government. But will anger repair the damage? Wouldn't a personal attitude of forgiveness for all shortsighted mistakes contribute to an overall social atmosphere of calmness, cooperation, and generosity? Wouldn't a personal attitude of forgiveness help, rather than hinder, the overall task of repairing the damage?

And what if the huge mansion near you was left unscathed? What if the millionaire who lives there decides to throw a party, while you are left out in the dark, hungry and cold? What if your rich neighbor does nothing to help you? Would cursing him and wishing for his destruction help to repair the damage to your house? You might hope for freely offered generosity from others, but the frustration of trying to force someone to pay for your damage will only dig you deeper into your own pain.

Now let's go even more psychologically deep.
What would have happened if Mrs. Smith had not been at home when the accident occurred? What if the children had used the broken window as an opportunity to enter into her house and ransack it? What if Mrs. Smith suspected the children but could not prove their guilt, and all the while they continue to live in the neighborhood as if nothing had happened?

This leads us to consider cases in which the damage is relational, not just material. Maybe someone accuses you of untrue things behind your back. Maybe your business partner steals from you. Maybe a manager fails to uphold a promise. Maybe your husband or your wife commits adultery.

In these cases involving a personal betrayal, keep in mind one important fact:

Forgiveness is not the same thing as forgetting.
To forgive is simply to stop wishing for revenge or to stop wanting to see the other person suffer in some way. But forgiveness is not blind. Because trust has been violated you cannot just forget what happened or else the same thing might happen again. There's a saying that unless we remember history we will be condemned to repeat it. So let's face it—even though you might forgive a person who has betrayed your trust, your trust in that person has been crushed.

Trust can be repaired only by time through a gradual process of rebuilding. You have to get to "know" the person all over again. The sad thing is that through what you learn you may have to accept the fact that the other person can never be trusted again. On the other hand, if the other person is truly repentant and wants to make a full confession and do penance, the desire to do so will be all that is necessary to nourish a new growth of trust between the two of you.

Truly, it can be hard to forgive if you dwell only on your own desire for satisfaction. So try thinking about

--how the energy to keep a grudge alive will ultimately drain away your strength;

--how a desire for revenge will defile you and may even unconsciously make you into a person as hurtful and vicious as the one who hurt you;

--the unfortunate life circumstances and traumas that may have motivated your victimizer;

--the fact that "evil comes to evil" in the end.


No matter what anyone does to you, no one can take away from you your capacity to do good. You lose it only by willingly giving it up yourself.

So remember that if anyone has ever hurt you, you don't find forgiveness, you give it.

If you have ever hurt others, all you can do is feel sorrow for your behavior; in sorrow, you can apologize, and you can make amends, but whether or not others forgive you is their choice.

And if you have hurt yourself? Well, it's a self-deception to believe that you can forgive yourself. Even though self-destructive and self-sabotaging behavior may seem to be anger at the self, at its core it is an expression of anger at someone else, because of what that person did to you or failed to do for you. It's as if you amplify the effects of the original injury and throw your dysfunction back into the face of the one who hurt you, in an attempt to force him to see how much he hurt you. It may be unpleasant to admit it, but, in all truth, you use your disability unconsciously as a subtle form of revenge, which is itself a form of hate. For the original wound to heal, you must set aside your personal desire for satisfaction, and forgive, not yourself, but the person who hurt you in the first place.

FRIENDS:

Father, We know your Word teaches forgiveness; your Spirit leads us to forgiveness; your Son came to this earth to show us forgiveness. When we open our hearts to you Father, and we allow your Son to rule over our thoughts and our lives, forgiveness happens. Lead us to understand the truth about grudges that we hang onto and teach us to forgive. In Jesus' name, Amen

DAILY BIBLE CHALLENGE
FEBRUARY 13
Matthew 15-21-39 Acts 21:27-40 Psalms 36 Exodus 34
FEBRUARY 14
Matthew 16:1-12 Acts 22 Psalms37:1-22 Exodus 35-37

ONE THING I AM THANKFUL FOR
Yes, just one today because it comes with an explanation. When I was a teenager in the late 50's, I met a girl at school and we attended the same dance on Friday night. We weren't good friends but we ran in the same crowd. Fast forward to 1974 and I married her cousin. We became good friends then and I always enjoyed the times we spent together. We loved to try to crack each other up as she loved to laugh and so did I. She told stories about a pot bellied pig they owned and about their bull mastiff dog, Baby, that were a delight.
During the years I was fortunate to be able to share the Gospel with both she and her husband and they believed and became Christians. Then I ended up with a divorce and was no longer part of the family. Not wanting her to feel she had to make a choice, I just stepped out of the picture as he was the one related to her and they had been close.
After many years had passed, I decided to stop in and see her but their house had been sold and I stopped looking. Just before I moved to California I tried again, this time doing a search on the Internet but could find nothing. So again I quit. Now I could have called my former husband and have asked him but, well just but.........
The other day a long time friend from that area sent me an email with a link to....her Obituary. Yes, she has passed from this life with out knowing that I really cared about her. I was so sad that I didn't pursue it harder and that I gave up so easily.
I posted a message of condolence to her children on the newspapers Obituary website and left my email address and that was the best I could do.
God is so good. A few minutes ago I received a message from one of her daughters explaining what their Mother's last few years were like. Now I can write to the daughter and try to make some amends for not pushing harder to find her. Her email was very sweet and she opened the door to further communication.
God knew how bad I was feeling and did as much as possible, in this life, to reconnect me with my former family. Let this be your cautionary tale. Don't let loved ones slip away from you.....Thank you God for making the best out of my negligence and resolving this for me.

FOOD:
Red Lobster Shrimp Scampi
1 C. White Wine (Chablis)
1/2 C. unsalted Butter do not use Margarine
3 Tbsp. minced Garlic
1 lb. Shrimp, peeled and devined

Bake at 350 degree oven for about 6 to 7 minutes.
Be carefull not to overcook the Shrimp. The shrimp are
done when they turn pink.
Thanks to Greg, former Red Lobster Chef.
*I would love this over some angel hair pasta......

FUN:

Waiting
for
Lunch!!

Still more on forgiveness

In the story from the last post, forgiveness comes when Mrs. Smith says, "I understand." In saying this she indicates that she does not intend to carry a grudge against the children.

This understanding also leads us to a simple psychological definition of forgiveness: Forgiveness is the refusal to hurt the one who hurt you.

The "refusal to hurt" can take on many meanings according to circumstances, and it encompasses everything from the refusal to "get even with" others, to the refusal to "get back at" others, to the refusal to prove to others—with arguments, protest, violence, or even self-sabotage—how wrong they are.

In this world you will likely come across many persons who refuse to make penance for their injurious acts. Hypocritically posing as pillars of their community, they might refuse to confess, to repent, and to accept penalty (like some parents who abuse their children), or they might refuse to repent even though they are forced to pay a penalty (like a sociopathic murderer sent to prison).

You, as the victim, can still forgive anyone, even though, from what you have read so far, you will know that forgiveness does not involve letting the person "off the hook" legally. Nor does your forgiving someone mean that you must be reconciled with that person. Reconciliation is made possible by the free choice of the victimizer to repent and to repair the damage of the injury, but forgiveness is always your choice—yours alone.

In our story, if the children had run away—precluding any reconciliation—Mrs. Smith would still have had the choice of forgiving the children or not. She may have been kind and reflected on times when, as a child, she herself got into trouble accidentally. The children's cowardice would have been a wound between them and her, but it wouldn't have been her doing. Or, refusing to forgive, she may have become bitter, beginning a neighborhood feud that went on for generations. Unfortunately, that would have been her doing.


FRIENDS:
Father, Our lives are a series of decisions and choices and the choice to forgive is so hard when we are hurt and angry at some injustice caused to us or those we love. When we live according to your precepts we would forgive immediately but we get so caught up in our own "stuff" we forget what you would have us do. If we seek your peace and your blessings Father we must work towards having a forgiving nature like yours. We pray that we will never use our problems as an excuse for ungodly behavior. In Jesus' name, Amen.

DAILY BIBLE CHALLENGE
February 11
Matthew 14:22-36; Acts 20;13-38; Psalms 34; Exodus 30-31
February 12
Matthew 15:1-20; Acts 21:1-26; Psalms 35; Exodus 32-33

10 THINGS I AM THANKFUL FOR
1. Seeing someone you knew as a child grow up to their full potential
2. An elder choke with tears at the memory of children he once knew
3. Standing around talking after church
4. Someone paying attention to something you said then acting on it
5. A good bargain from an unexpected source
6. A compliment
7. A big hug. Remember to hug those who live alone....we miss hugs.
8. Growing friendships
9. Success stories about people you care about
10. Beautiful colors grouped together creating a physical reaction within (God is an artist)

FOOD:
I don't know how accurate this is and it is not intended as medical advice. Before there were today's medicines this type of natural ingredient was used. Use any of these with caution.
Facts on Honey and Cinnamon: It is found that a mixture of honey and cinnamon cures most diseases. Honey is produced in most of the countries of the world. Scientists of today also accept honey as a 'Ram Ban' (very effective) medicine or all kinds of diseases.
Honey can be used without any side effects for any kind of diseases.
Today's science says that even though honey is sweet, if taken in the right dosage as a medicine, it does not harm diabetic patients. Weekly World News, a magazine in Canada , in its issue dated 17 January,1995 has given the following list of diseases that can be cured by honey and cinnamon as researched by western scientists:
HEART DISEASES:
Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder, apply on bread, instead of jelly and jam, and eat it regularly for breakfast. It reduces the cholesterol in the arteries and saves the patient from heart attack. Also those who have already had an attack, if they do this process daily, they are kept miles away from the next attack. Regular use of the above process relieves loss of breath and strengthens the heart beat. In America and Canada , various nursing homes have treated patients successfully and have found that as you age, the arteries and veins lose their flexibility and get clogged;honey and cinnamon revitalize the arteries and veins.
ARTHRITIS:
Arthritis patients may take daily, morning, and night, one cup of hot water with two spoons of honey and one small teaspoon of cinnamon powder. If taken regularly even chronic arthritis can be cured. In a recent research conducted at Copenhagen University, it was found that when the doctors treated their patients with a mixture of one tablespoon of honey and half teaspoon of cinnamon powder before breakfast, they found that within a week, out of the 200 people so treated, practically 73 patients were totally relieved of pain, and within a month, mostly all the patients who could not walk or move around because of arthritis started walking without pain.
BLADDER INFECTIONS:
Take two tablespoons of cinnamon powder and one teaspoon of honey in a glass of lukewarm water and drink it. It destroys the germs in the bladder.
CHOLESTEROL:
Two tablespoons of honey and three teaspoons of cinnamon powder mixed in 16 ounces of tea water, given to a cholesterol patient, was found to reduce the level of cholesterol in the blood by 10 percent within two hours. As mentioned for arthritic patients, if taken three times a day, any chronic cholesterol is cured. According to information received in the said Journal, pure honey taken with food daily relieves complaints of cholesterol.
COLDS:
Those suffering from common or severe colds should take one tablespoon lukewarm honey with 1/4 spoon cinnamon powder daily for three days. This process will cure most chronic cough, cold, and clear the sinuses.
UPSET STOMACH:
Honey taken with cinnamon powder cures stomach ache and also clears stomach ulcers from the root.
GAS:
According to the studies done in India and Japan , it is revealed that if Honey is taken with cinnamon powder the stomach is relieved of gas.
IMMUNE SYSTEM:
Daily use of honey and cinnamon powder strengthens the immune system and protects the body from bacteria and viral attacks. Scientists have found that honey has various vitamins and iron in large amounts. Constant use of Honey strengthens the white blood corpuscles to fight bacteria and viral diseases.
INDIGESTION:
Cinnamon powder sprinkled on two tablespoons of honey taken before food relieves acidity and digests the heaviest of meals.
INFLUENZA:
A scientist in Spain has proved that honey contains a natural ingredient which kills the influenza germs and saves the patient from flu.
LONGEVITY:
Tea made with honey and cinnamon powder, when taken regularly, arrests the ravages of old age. Take four spoons of honey, one spoon of cinnamon powder and three cups of water and boil to make like tea. Drink 1/4 cup, three to four times a day. It keeps the skin fresh and soft and arrests old age. Life spans also increases and even a 100 year old, starts performing the chores of a 20-year-old.
PIMPLES:
Three tablespoons of honey and one teaspoon of cinnamon powder paste apply this paste on the pimples before sleeping and wash it next morning with warm water. If done daily for two weeks, it removes pimples from the root.
SKIN INFECTIONS:
Applying honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts on the affected parts cures eczema, ringworm and all types of skin infections.
WEIGHT LOSS:
Daily in the morning one half hour before breakfast on an empty stomach and at night before sleeping, drink honey and cinnamon powder boiled in one cup of water. If taken regularly, it reduces the weight of even the most obese person. Also, drinking this mixture regularly does not allow the fat to accumulate in the body even though the person may eat a high calorie diet.
CANCER:
Recent research in Japan and Australia has revealed that advanced cancer of the stomach and bones have been cured successfully. Patients suffering from these kinds of cancer should daily take one tablespoon of honey with one teaspoon of cinnamon powder for one month three time s a day.
FATIGUE:
Recent studies have shown that the sugar content of honey is more helpful rather than being detrimental to the strength of the body. Senior citizens, who take honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts, are more alert and flexible . Dr. Milton, who has done research, says that a half tablespoon of honey taken in a glass of water and sprinkled with cinnamon powder, taken daily after brushing and in the afternoon at about 3:00 P.M. When the vitality of the body starts to decrease, increases the vitality of the body within a week.
BAD BREATH:
People of South America, first thing in the morning, gargle with one teaspoon of honey and cinnamon powder mixed in hot water, so their breath stays fresh throughout the day.
HEARING LOSS:
Daily morning and night honey and cinnamon powder, taken in equal parts restore hearing. Remember when we were kids? We had toast with real butter and cinnamon sprinkled on it!

FUN:

"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it."
Bill Cosby

More on Forgiveness

The psychology of forgiveness:

ANYONE who has ever been victimized—and that includes survivors of crime, accidents, childhood abuse, political imprisonment, warfare, and so on—must decide whether or not to forgive the perpetrator. There can be no middle ground to this decision: either you decide to forgive the person who hurt you, or you hold on to bitterness and anger.

Holding on to bitterness and anger can cause problems of their own, so if you have ever been victimized, being able to forgive your victimizer is a crucial part of your healing.

I've seen individuals, for example, who have lost a family member because of a crime. The survivors' anger and desire for revenge poison their entire beings. They so focus on what they've lost, and what they wanted the dead person to be, and do, for them, that they completely miss the opportunity they've been given to learn about real love.
Instead, they seem to believe that hatred, even to the point of capital punishment, will satisfy their thirst for vengeance and will somehow bring them healing.

So, with hardened hearts and stiff lips, they say, "I'll never forgive."

And the sad thing is that in wishing to send someone to hell they end up sending themselves there as well.

Forgiveness, however, can be a problem for many people simply because they are not clear about what forgiveness really is. All too often forgiveness gets confused with reconciliation, a larger process of which forgiveness is but one part.

Suppose some children are playing a game when someone hits a ball all the way across the street, and it smashes through Mrs. Smith's living room window.

It seemed like a small explosion, followed by the shrill clinking of bit upon bit of broken glass. Then silence. Her immediate response was a dull shock, void of emotion. Then her conscious mind began to function again. "What was that?" She felt her heart racing. Fear began to grow. She looked into the living room, and her heart sank at the overwhelming mess on the carpet. Feelings of sadness and astonishment mixed with fear and threat in her mind. A primal concern for her life welled up in her. "Is this the end of the world?" Things remained quiet. Her eyes moved to the fragmented window. "Is someone trying to kill me?" She stared at the mess. A feeling of rage spoke from deep within her wounded heart: "Who could have done this to me?"

The children do not run away. They go over to Mrs. Smith's house and knock on the door.

She hears a knock on the door. Adrenaline surges again; her mind struggles to determine the nature of the threat. She hears the whispering voices of children. Suspicious and afraid, she opens the door cautiously.

The children say, "We're sorry, Mrs. Smith. We were playing and we broke your window."

"So that's it," she sighs. She feels relief as the explanation comes clear. Then her heart sinks again at the damage, the mess, and the loss. For an instant, she wonders what might have happened to her if she had been in the room at the time the window shattered. She feels the indignation, and with it she feels the dull urge to throw the hurt back in their faces. She makes a hard decision.

Mrs. Smith looks at them and says, "I understand, children. I know you didn't mean to hurt me. But you gave me a scare for my life. And the window is still broken—you will have to pay for it." (Let's set aside the concept of homeowner's insurance for a moment because this is a story about penance.)

The children say, "OK." They pool together their money, and they give the money to Mrs. Smith so she can repair the window. (Let's set aside the question about whether the children can gather together that much money in the first place. Maybe they have to borrow the money from their parents and agree to pay it back. In any event, they pay Mrs. Smith.)

Now, in this story, there are actually three elements that compose the act of penance.

First is the act of confession: admitting the act ("We broke your window"). The act has to be admitted, aloud, to the person offended, or the entire process stops and no one gets anywhere.

Second is the act of repentance: asking for forgiveness ("We're sorry"). Remember, if the children had run away, they would have avoided their responsibility to repair the damage they caused, and so they would have prevented the process of penance from getting started.

And third is the act of penalty: accepting the punishment ("OK"). After all, a broken window is a broken window, and it has to be fixed. If the children do not pay to fix it, their confession and repentance are really worthless. (For those of you still thinking about the issue of homeowner's insurance, let's say that Mrs. Smith's insurance pays the damages and the children help Mrs. Smith clean up the mess in her living room. In this case their work would serve to fulfill the function of the penalty.)

This concept of penalty opens up many complicated issues about the legal responsibility of the victimizer to the victim.

For example, if a crime was committed, then criminal law should see to it that the victimizer receives a fair trial and just punishment. As for restitution, either the victimizer personally, or the victimizer's insurance should pay, willingly and fairly, for damages to the victim's property or health.

Now, these aspects of criminal law should be unambiguous and without any psychological implications.

But it's in the area of civil law that psychological ambiguity arises. If you sue because of a tort—that is, a wrongful act or injury—then vengeance can be quickly confused with justice. If you are injured to such an extent or in such a way that is not compensated freely by the victimizer, then a tort case may be justified. But if, for example, you trip over a crack in a sidewalk and sue the city for millions of dollars, then you have crossed over from being victimized into "victim anger," and you have entered the dark psychology of greed and revenge.

All of this points to two facts about the psychology of forgiveness: if you cannot let go of your desire for vengeance, you will never find true healing, and you can never be truly healed if you try to force someone else to pay for the cost of your healing.

FRIENDS:
We're not perfect, Father, but we are yours. We're not what we should be, but we do claim your salvation and your grace. We ask you to make us every day more and more into the image of Jesus Christ. We stand amazed that you would have such mercy upon us to forgive us time and time again. Thank you for the immeasurable depth of your grace. In Jesus' name, Amen.

BIBLE CHALLENGE
FEBRUARY 9
Matthew 13:44-58; Acts 19:23-41; Psalms 32; Exodus 24-26
Matthew 14:1-21; Acts 20:1-12; Psalms 33; Exodus 27-29

FOOD:

Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing Mix

15 saltines
2 cups dry parsley flakes, minced
1/2 cup instant minced onion
2 Tbsp dry dill weed
1/4 cup onion salt
1/4 cup garlic salt
1/4 cup onion powder
1/4 cup garlic powder

Dump all ingredients into a blender or food processor and blend until
completely powdered.

To Use: Combine 1 Tbsp dry mix, 1 cup of mayonnaise and 1 cup of
buttermilk.

FUN:

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died.
He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.

"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"

"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ya callin' from?"

FORGIVENESS

FAITH:

Matthew 6:14-15
Yes, if you forgive others for their sins, your Father in heaven will also forgive you your sins. (15) But if you don't forgive others, your Father in heaven will not forgive your sins. New Century Translation.

What do you do when people mistreat you or those you love? Does the fire of anger boil within you, with leaping flames consuming your emotions? Or do you reach somewhere, to some source of cool water and pull out a bucket of mercy---to free yourself? Is there any emotion that imprisons the soul more than the unwillingness to forgive?

Don't get on the roller coaster of resentment and anger. You be the one who says, "Yes, he mistreated me, but I am going to be like Christ. I'll be the one who says, 'Forgive them, Father, they don't know what they're doing.' "

The first step toward forgiveness is to see the other person as a fallible human being, not as a source of hurt. That's how God treated us with mercy---he became one of us, he felt as we feel, he understood our frustrations. And as a result, when he hung on the cross, he could look at those crucifying him and as God to forgive them.

When you forgive someone, you as as close to God as you will ever be, because in that forgiveness you are demonstrating the very heart of God, the merciful King. If you want to understand God, if you want to draw closer to him, then forgive someone today.

FRIENDS:

Father, Sometimes forgiving others seems impossible. Forgive us when we hesitate to extend grace to others. And remind us that revisiting the cross is the first step in knowing how to forgive. Thank you for your grace and mercy towards us. In Jesus' name, Amen.

DAILY BIBLE CHALLENGE
February 7
Matthew 13:1-23; Acts 18:18-28; Psalms 30; Exodus 19-20
February 8
Matthew 13:24-43; Acts 19:1-22; Psalms 31; Exodus 21-23

10 Things I Am Thankful For
1. The patience that God shows me when I am slow to learn a lesson he is trying to teach me
2. The willing spirit of helpfulness I see around me in God's family
3. Food ministries for those who are lacking and the people who work to provide
4. A loving hug shared between two grown sisters
5. Kind words from a good friend
6. The memories of an old friend that just passed away
7. Hearing my children's voices on the phone..."Hi Mom"
8. Having just enough
9. Friends with vehicles large enough to haul furniture
10. Being able to serve God

FOOD:

Crock Pot Broccoli Cheese Soup

2 - 16 oz packages frozen chopped broccoli
2 cans cheddar cheese soup
2 cans evaporated milk
1/4 cup dried minced onions
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper

Combine all ingredients in crockpot.

Cover and cook on low for 4-5 hours or high for 2-3 hours.


FUN:


Powerful Women's Motto
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning Satan shudders and says
"OH NO!!...she's awake!!!"

FAITH:
Matthew 10:1-42
The Jews viewed suffering as God's punishment. The disciples could not understand Jesus' message that they would suffer for being obedient.

Although believers will be persecuted, they can trust that God has a plan for all difficult circumstances.

Could you use some courage? Are you backing down more that you are standing up? If so, let the Master lead you up the mountain again. Let him remind you why you should "fear not". Listen to the time Jesus scattered the butterflies out of the stomachs of his nervous disciples and see if his words help you.

We need to remember that the disciples were common men given a compelling task. Before they were the stained-glassed saints in the windows of cathedrals, they were somebody's next-door-neighbors trying to make a living and raise a family. They weren't cut from theological cloth or raised on supernatural milk. But they were an ounce more devoted than they were afraid and, as a result, did some extraordinary things..........

Earthly fears are no fears at all. All the mystery is revealed. The final destination is guaranteed. Answer the big question of eternity, and the little questions of life fall into perspective. by Max Lucado

Applying it: Jesus promised hard times, but he also promised comfort. Are you experiencing opposition for being a Christian but neglecting to accept his comfort? Look forward to the day when you will no longer be persecuted but will be rewarded for persevering. Let the reality of that reward encourage you.
Exploring it: Do Not Be Afraid---Joshua 1:9; 2 Kings 6:15-17; Psalm 37:7, 13, 28; Isaiah 41:10; 43:1-2; Luke 12:32; Hebrews 13:6; 1 Peter 5:7.


FRIENDS:
Father, Teach us to set our hopes on heaven, to hold firmly to the promise of eternal life, so that we can withstand the struggles and storms of this world. May your Word be a constant in our lives. May we come to understand that your purpose is greater than our persecution. Thank you for your love that is unmeasurable. In Jesus' name, Amen.

BIBLE READING CHALLENGE
February 5
Matthew 12:22-37; Acts 17:16-34; Psalms 28; Exodus 13-15
February 6
Matthew 12:38-50; Acts 18:1-17; Psalms 29; Exodus 16-18

More about the books of the Bible
EXODUS
What follows is the greatest scene in the book of Exodus.

Risky claim, you say? Exodus is one startling scene after another. Burning bushes, dividing seas, manna falling, quail scampering. The plagues, the slaves, the pharaoh, and the fire. How could they be ranked?

Do we dare isolate one moment as the greatest?

Yes, we do.

We turn to the Hebrew slaves and stand silently as they perform an act of faith. A brush is dipped into a bowl of lamb's blood and streaked over the doorpost. Do it, they were told, and the angel of death will pass over. They obeyed. And death took an alternate route.

That's the peak of Exodus. Exodus is a book of deliverance. Literation from slavery. The blood on the doorpost reminds us, however, that it wasn't Moses who set them free. It was God. The blood on the doorpost reminds us of blood smeared on another post.

Blood of another lamb.

The Lamb of God.

Because of his blood, we, too, are free.

FOOD:

Chicken and Creamy Red Potatoes

1-1/2 lbs Red Potatoes chunked
8 oz Neufchatel (reduced fat cream cheese) Cheese
10-3/4 oz can of Cream of Potato Soup
1 Envelope Ranch-style Dressing Mix
12 oz Chicken Breast Without Skin, cut into strips

Place potatoes in slow cooker. Beat together the cream cheese, soup
and salad dressing mix. Stir in chicken strips and spread over
potatoes (or just stir all together). Cover and cook on Low 8 hours,
or until potatoes are tender. Stir once after 5-6 hours. Stir before
serving.

FUN:

A pilot landed a plane with a rather bumpy landing. As part of his job he was required to stand by the terminal door and say goodbye to the passengers as they exited the airplane. He was afraid that someone might say something about his rather less than perfect landing, but everyone left without saying a word except for one passenger, an elderly lady, she slowly approached the pilot after most passengers had exited the plane and asked, "Did we land? Or were we shot down?"

Undivided Attention

FAITH:

Luke 8:1-56

Because of increasing hostility from the Pharisees and Sadducees, Jesus stopped going to the synagogues. Instead he began to preach in the countryside.

Jesus emphasized that not only must we hear God’s words, but we must act on them too.

Only when I reach the point where I solemnly place great store upon what he says will it ever become a powerful force in my life.

Only when I really take Him seriously will His word be made Spirit and life (supernatural life) to me.

Only when I recognize that what I am hearing is in fact and in truth divine revelation designed by deity for my own good, will I hear it as a word from above.

God has chosen to articulate Himself to me as a man in four ways: through the natural created universe around me; through His word expressed by inspired men who reported it in human language I can read and understand; through the person of Jesus Christ, the Word made flesh, exemplified in human form; through those other men and women in whom He deigns to reside by His own Gracious Spirit.

He may speak to me deliberately and distinctly through any one or all of these ways. It is my responsibility then to recognize; “O God, You are communicating with me. I will listen. I do recognize Your voice communing with me.”.....

I must set aside what ever else preoccupies my thoughts and give my undivided attention to the Lord.

It is not good enough to “half listen” to God. He demands my total concentration on what He is conveying to me. He knows that anything less will leave me half-hearted.

My positive response results in immediate action on my part. His will is done. His wishes are carried out. His desires are complied with happily. His commands are executed without delay or debate.

In short I simply do what He asks me to do.

This is faith in action---the faith of obedience.

This is the gateway into the good ground of God’s garden.

This is to “hear” the Word and have it come alive.

This is to have Him implant the good seed of His good intentions for me in the good, warm, open, prepared soil of my responsive soul.

The seed will germinate. the young plants will proser and grow vigorously. There will be fruit production of His choosing---a harvest that delights Him and refreshes others. by Phillip Keller

Applying it: As you read God’s Word, listen to the Holy spirit. What is god telling you to do? Don’t ignore his prodding---obey him now.

Exploring it:  Hearing--Exodus 22:27; 2 Chronicles 7:14; Isaiah 59:1; John 5:24; Romans 2:13; 10:17; Revelations 3:20

FRIENDS:

Father, Why do we not hear what you are trying to say to us? Are we too busy with life to stop and listen to what you really want us to be doing. If we are covering up something with our busy ways then reveal that to us so we repent of it and then we can listen and be the fruitful people you want us to be.Thank you for your patience with us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

BIBLE CHALLENGE

February 3

Matthew 11:20-30; Acts 16:16-40; Psalms 26; Exodus 7-9

February 4

Matthew 12:1-21; Acts 17:1-15; Psalms 27; Exodus 10-12

10 THINGS I AM THANKFUL FOR

1.The encouragement that multi-generational Christian families give to others

2.Good preaching 

3.How a good idea from God can grow if you’re listening

4.Seeing a hardened man tear up in repentance

5.A beautiful and for a Sunday drive

6.A warm car seat when you come out of a cold building

7.Friendly people

8.How God tries to guard my health when I let Him

9.The smell of fresh peeled apples

10.Scriptures that inspire--when you know God has given them to you

FOOD:

Poppyseed Coleslaw 

Head of Napa Cabbage 

1/2 medium white onion 

2 cloves garlic 

1/3 cup canola oil 

1/3 cup apple vinegar 

honey (optional) 

salt 

pepper 

3 tablespoons poppy seeds 

Slice the cabbage into thin ribbons.  Put the onion, garlic, oil, and vinegar into the work-bowl of the food processor and pulse until combined. If the vinegar is very tart you may want to add some honey. 

Season with salt and pepper and then add the poppy seeds.  Don't dress the cabbage until your ready to eat...it's not as sturdy as regular cabbage. Pour the dressing over the cabbage and toss and serve.

FUN:

Advantages Of Being A Woman


Why it's better to be a Woman!

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.