In the early 90's my marriage of almost 20 years ended. My children were grown and most of them were understanding about why and how I was leaving their Dad. With the exception of one of them, my third son, Robert. He came to Arizona, where I was living, to drive back to Seattle with me. He was quite angry at his father, who he felt was mostly at fault. Watching me preparing to leave my home, my marriage, most of my things, and my crying uncontrollably as I was leaving, only added to his angry feelings towards his Dad. This included a letter he left, chastising his father and at a later date there was a physical altercation.
Some years later I had returned to Arizona and after a time, my son's life took a down turn so I invited him to come and stay with me until he got reorganized. In spite of the time that had passed, he was still carrying this anger towards his father although now it was no longer right at the surface, ready to spring out, but deep in his heart and spirit. Not just the anger from the dissolution of our family but other hurts from a childhood spent with a father that was often an unfair disciplinarian.
I was managing a large property and had a very reliable Maintenance man who, one morning, just up and quit with no warning. He not only quit me, but he left his marriage of short term and just disappeared. My former husband was very quick to come and offer his assistance for the time being since he was not working and the job was a lot to handle without Maintenance help. I agreed to a specific arrangement and he came to work for me. This put my son and his Dad in close proximity 5 days a week.
His Dad was in a recovery program and doing quite well and my son had been in one the year before so it gave them some things to talk about. There was a lot of work to be done and since my son was only working part time he helped his Dad do some projects and again, proximity and a chance for conversation..
During this time that he was living with me I could see how he was struggling with life. He had broken his back seven years before and afterwards had suffered from increasing bouts of depression that we couldn't seem to get help for. He had attempted suicide on several occasions, the last one involved a gun in my office. Fortunately, he never archived his goal to end his pain in that way.
I specifically remember praying, "Lord, if Robert is not going to be happy in this life, then you do what is best for him and I will abide by your decision". Robert was found dead, in his bed two weeks later. The only thing that was in any way abnormal in his system, as determined by autopsy, was an elevated amount of Benedryl he was taking as a sleep aide, suggested by a psychiatrist he had seen during the two weeks before he died.
Robert told my dear Friend of many years, who had flown in for an impromptu visit four days before he died, that he had made peace with his Dad and had forgiven him and that things were "cool" between them.
How does this story about my son relate to forgiveness?
Robert had been a Christian and had claimed the name of Christ from the time he was a young boy, giving his life to Christ at summer church camp. He had struggled in his teens, but as he got older and more grounded had been very involved with a group that did street ministry in downtown Seattle. He would share the Gospel with anyone, at any time. He was very much in love with the Lord and always disappointed in himself when he felt he let God down. He said the story of the prodigal son best described his relationship with God.
Our Heavenly Father knew that Robert's time here was soon to be over. He brought Robert to Tucson, the last week of that November, so I could see, first hand, his pain and be willing to let go of him and let God do what was best. We got to spend our final Christmas together, just the two of us. I watched him struggle to regain his balance in life and I was able to see how deeply sad and wounded my son was. But much more important than all of those things, God brought Robert to Tucson, so he could forgive his Dad, because in a very short time the Father would call him home and he needed to be free of that deep bitterness on his heart.
The scriptures say in Matthew 6:14-15 "Yes, if you forgive others for their sins, your Father in heaven will also forgive you your sins. (15) But if you don't forgive others, your Father in heaven will not forgive your sins".
How important is it to God that we forgive others? I would say it is of the most high importance.
Oh yes, the Maintenance man that walked out on his job, he returned the day after we had Robert's memorial service. He said he didn't know what came over him or why he left.
FRIENDS:
Father, I am humbled by the provisions you made for my forgiveness. You allowed your son to go to Calvary so that my sins could be forgiven and I might have eternal life. Thank you God, for your priceless gift, and for your love. Thank you Jesus that you love us with a power and depth that is beyond our understanding. Thank you for your sacrifice for us. In Jesus' name, Amen.
DAILY BIBLE CHALLENGE
February 15
Matthew 16:13-28; Acts 23:1-11; Psalms 37:23-40; Exodus 38-40
February 16
Matthew 17:1-13; Acts 23:12-35; Psalms 38; Leviticus 1-4
FOOD:
Apple Dumplings
2 Granny Smith Apples
2 pkgs croissant rolls
1 c sugar
2 sticks butter
One 12-oz bottle/can Mountain Dew
Cinnamon
Melt butter and add sugar in bowl. Peel apples and slice each apple into 8
sections. Wrap each apple wedge in a croissant triangle starting at big end.
Place in an 11x13" pan. Pour sugar and butter over wraps. Sprinkle with
cinnamon. Pour 12-oz of Mountain Dew around the dumplings but not over the
top of them.
Bake at 350-degrees until golden brown. Serve warm or cold.
FUN:
